April 01, 2008

Jewish Food Fundamentals

Jewish Food Fundamentals

Asking a Jew if he likes Jewish food
Is like telling a Christian it's fruitcake time dude.
It's just a thing, like a letter to Jude.
You have to eat it, whatever your mood.

There are the drunks who drink cheap kosher wine.
They make it stronger, so they're feeling fine.
That's just the rules and there's line after line.
I couldn't stand this sweet fruit of the vine.

There are a few that are always in favor.
There's a fish hamburger you have to savor.
It's not that bad if you sign a fish waiver.
Some are the bottom fed. Some are the braver

Sometimes it's salty. Sometimes it's bitter
Sometimes it's tasteless, but never is fitter.
Sometimes you feed some to your baby sitter.
She seems to like it, though you are a quitter.

You have to go without bread for a week.
You get a cracker that gums up your cheek.
You can't eat lunch! Every Gentile will seek
To sample this matzah when it's at its peak.

Sometimes the day means you can't eat at all.
This will come late in the summer or fall.
You stuff your face just before for the pall.
When it's all over, there's more left on call.

Then there's the boiling of chicken for soup.
There's lots of fat and you scoop and you scoop.
They used to keep it and spread it like goop.
This is the schmaltz and it fed a whole troop.

Everyone seems to like bagels and lox.
Buy lots of cream cheese. That really rocks.
You want the best and it comes in a box.
This is by choice and will knock off your socks.

June 9, 2007 Stephen Blumenkranz

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